If you’re reading this on the day it was sent, then it’s my Birthday!
Yes, I am totally one of those people who thinks we should celebrate birthdays all day, week, month, etc. To be fair, I try to do the same for others who I am close to as well.
My wife’s birthday was at the end of April. She got a new laptop, we went to Volcano Bay Day, my son and I made her a cake, we did a weekend trip, and more.
But that’s not the important thing (at least not for anyone but her).
The important thing is that the more you invest in your important relationships, the more you get out of them.
For a spouse (especially if they’re also a business partner), I am a big fan of Fair Play.
What is Fair Play?
The thing and the book by Eve Rodsky.
She’s a lawyer who wrote this book about couples and fairness in the home. There are also physical cards that go with the book, and I HIGHLY suggest getting them.
Shout out to Elise Buie for sharing this book and the cards.
What is Fair?
Here’s the part that is going to be different for everyone.
If you’re reading this, you are probably a law firm owner, and probably between 30-50, which means statistically you’re married or otherwise in a committed relationship.
So what is a fair breakdown of chores and responsibilities in the house?
Fairness is different for everyone.
- If you are working 60 hours a week as the breadwinner, fair is not 50/50; it might be 75/25.
- If you are business partners with your spouse, but they work 5 days a week and you work 3 days a week, 50/50 also isn’t fair; it might be 66/33.
At the end of the day, the book (and the cards) help you realize what goes into running a household and who bears the brunt more than anyone else.
Honestly, I would pass out the cards first and see where everyone stands before forcing a percentage that is “fair.”
I thought my wife and I were pretty even, and I ended up with slightly more than 40% of the cards we had already figured out who was responsible for.
What’s in it for Me?
Honestly, probably more chores.
But also:
- A happier spouse or significant other
- A better home environment
- Fewer items on the dread-to-do list because you can apply a lot of the same principles that help you run a good business to your home life
Let me give you my run-down so you can see it in action.
My Household Breakdown
My wife and I own Driven Law (formerly Jordan Law) together. She does the legal work, I run the company. She also teaches one class per semester at my alma mater, UCF – Go Knights! Charge On!
She works slightly more than I do, so we are close to 50/50 with the cards…maybe 55/45 me.
Normal Chores
- Meals (all)
- Groceries
- Garbage
- Dishes
I like cooking (and finding new restaurants). My wife doesn’t. So this is an easy batch for me. The way we bundled it, I buy the stuff, cook the stuff, throw the stuff out, and wash the dishes.
Everyone else just tells Alexa what to add to the grocery list. Yes, the 5-year-old makes requests.
This helps me know what we have, where everything is, and if something is missing, it’s my fault. Then I shop Tuesday/Wednesday or Instacart.
Man Stuff
- Cash and Bills
- Job Loss & Money Problems
- Money Manager
- First Aid, Safety & Emergency
- Serious Illness
- Death
I am totally kidding with the title here. Many studies show women are often better investors because of patience.
These are things I like doing (money stuff) and things my less emotional nature suits (injury stuff). My wife and I have separate bank accounts; mine pays almost all the bills. Hence my rant on automatic bill pay!
Fun Stuff
- Charity, Community Service, Good Deeds
- Values & Good Deeds
- Calendar Keeper
- Social Plans (Couples)
- Hosting
I’m on the board for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Florida, currently running a birthday fundraiser if it strikes your fancy.
Running the calendar, social plans, and hosting makes sense because I can bring networking into household stuff too – more opportunities.
Home Maintenance & Money
- Lawn and Plants
- Health Insurance
- Home Purchase/Mortgage/Insurance
- Electronics and IT
- Money Manager
- Estate Planning and Life Insurance
This list also doubles as referral sources I send business to.
Kids
If you don’t have kids, this part is less relevant. If you do:
- Showing Up & Participating (Kids)
- School Service (Kids)
- Tutoring and Coaching
- Discipline and Screen Time
- Medical and Healthy Living
- Dental
- Hard Questions
- Morning Routine (Kids)
I have a NEED/DESIRE to go to school events as much as possible. I used to be the only dad most of the time, now it’s probably 33/66 Men/Women.
I want to show kids that dads can take an active role too. For my son, I am more the discipline person, and proactive health stuff also fits. Plus, I can do a lot of the community service cards with him.
Lessons Learned
- Have systems and processes for home as well as the business – it’s just more efficient
- Understand the burden your loved ones carry, and it’s easier to pitch in more
- A happy life > a solid business
- Apply principles to grow your firm – hence my referral sources
- It’s more fun – I love knowing what is mine to do and what isn’t. The same principle applies in business with accountability
Next week, I am going to walk you through my Decision Making Process with tips and tricks.
Until then, may you not need to guard the galaxy, but if you must, may you do it with people you trust, enjoy, and a killer soundtrack supporting you.