What do Indiana Jones, my clients, and that guy who somehow closes deals while fishing have in common?
They all figured out that just being cool gets you pretty far.
For Indiana Jones, he literally does nothing that helps the outcome in Raiders of the Lost Ark and is just an awesome vibe the whole time. Seriously, at most he helps the Nazis find the Ark faster, and they are only stopped when they open it, which he has nothing to do with.
Many of my clients learn that referrals do not have to come from forced networking or business card bingo.
You do not need to hand out pens with your logo on them.
You do not need to do 97 coffee meetings a month.
You do not need to join a networking group that meets at 6:30 am and makes you chant mantras until your throat is hoarse.
You need one thing:
A life designed around doing things you enjoy with people you enjoy.
Seriously, networking is doing what you want to do with who you want to do it with.
Real Talk: People Refer People They Like
When is the last time you referred someone who seemed miserable, stressed, or too busy to talk to their own shadow?
Never? Exactly.
When is the last time you were someone who seemed miserable, stressed, and too busy to talk to anyone? For me, it has been a while, but that was me for a long time.
Referrals come from:
- Spending time with people
- Having conversations that do not start with “What do you do?”
- Building trust before someone needs you
Here’s the Better Way: Design for Connection
Want more referrals?
Try this:
- Host a monthly dinner or game night
- Join a workout group. Pickleball counts. Yes, even yours truly.
- Start a book club for business owners like we have in our Luau group
- Invite people to a concert, a hike, or your favorite taco spot
- Volunteer somewhere meaningful with a group
- Plan a fun recurring thing and keep showing up with cool people
That is it. That is the trick.
This is not magic. It is math.
The more consistently you connect with the right people, the more opportunities show up.
Referrals flow from relationships, not scripts.
But Here’s the Best Part
You do not have to fake it.
You do not have to be anyone other than you.
You just have to start building a life you actually enjoy and bring people into it.
Eventually someone will say:
“By the way, do you know someone who…?”
And you will say:
“I got you.”
Wrapping It Up
Lifestyle design is a referral strategy.
Do what you love.
Do it consistently.
Invite great people to do it with you.
Referrals will follow, and your life will be a whole lot more fun along the way.
Until then, go do something fun with someone who you hope will one day send you business. But remember, make it fun first. The business has to come second or not at all.