What Do You Want?
I find myself saying this over and over again, oftentimes to myself (thankfully, quietly in those instances).
Last week, I was on a cruise, and I found myself complaining about a lot of stuff.
Thankfully, other than my son slicing his face open (he’s fine now), nothing was serious, it was just annoying things.
He couldn’t go to the kids’ camp because he’s not vaccinated (he can’t be due to his age).
But then he was too short for all the activities where vaccination status didn’t matter.
Then he was too young for the other games they made available to make up for kids not being able to go to camp if they weren’t vaxxed, things like life-sized chess pieces bigger than he is, or running around the whole ship on a scavenger hunt.
Then he sliced his face open on the soccer/pool game they had, which didn’t require him to be tall enough.
Then the internet kept going out, so he couldn’t watch his iPad or movies.
So we watched Spies in Disguise, Bernie the Dolphin, and most of Bernie the Dolphin 2…a lot.
(If anyone has seen Bernie the Dolphin, I need to talk to you about it. It’s awful. Don’t see it. But it also makes no sense to me, and I need to make sure I’m not the moron who can’t understand a stupid kids’ movie that makes no sense—despite watching it three times.)
I had to keep reminding myself how lucky we were to be on a cruise, to be together, to be mostly healthy but also…
What did I want?
What would have solved each issue?
Bitching and moaning doesn’t help. We need to stay solutions-focused.
What Do You Want as a Lawyer and Business Owner?
That brings me to one of the things we lose sight of as lawyers and business owners: what do we actually want?
To quote Greg Eisenberg, this applies at both the micro and the macro level.
Three Things You Have to Know
- How much money do I NEED to make?
(Here, we intentionally remove the word want.) - When do I WANT to be working?
(“Never” is an acceptable answer.) - What work do I WANT to be doing during that time?
(Sitting on a beach with your toes in the sand is an acceptable answer.
So is litigating defamation suits on the level of Johnny Depp’s.)
My Answers (As an Example)
For me:
I need a little under $150,000 a year to support our lifestyle and save enough to retire when I want.
(This might be way too high or way too low for you, but I’m putting it out there so you feel more comfortable being honest with yourself about your answer.)
I want to be working two, maybe three days a week: Monday and Thursday, and sometimes Tuesday.
I want to be doing live shows, content creation, prospecting, speaking engagements, networking, and meetings with my team (mostly to see how awesome they’re doing at everything else).
I don’t want to be practicing law, driving to court, arguing with OC/OP/judges, learning the latest GMB algorithm change, reading case law, or doing graphic design.
The only thing I hate doing that I refuse to delegate is firing people.
My team can hire, but if someone is being a problem or needs to go, I want to be involved. I hate it, and I’m thankful I don’t have to do it that often, but that one’s on me.
Take a Few Minutes and Answer This for Yourself
These answers will help with everything else:
- How much money do I NEED to make?
- When do I WANT to be working?
- What work do I WANT to be doing during that time?
Where Else to Apply This
The short answer: everywhere.
- When you hire employees:
What do you want out of them? What does success in their position look like? - When you market:
What do you want out of the campaign? How many cases must it generate to be worth it? - When you lawyer:
What do you want the other side to do? What does a ruling in your favor look like? - When you’re a parent:
What do you want your kids to do? Listen? Not touch the hot stove? Not slice their face open on a cruise ship and require a visit to the medical office? - With your spouse or significant other:
What do you want from them?
And just as important, what do they want from you?
This is the most important place to have a two-way line of communication. Do your best to deliver on what they want, and both of you will be much happier.
Final Thought
Setting expectations in advance makes it a lot easier to decide whether something was a success, or simply a learning opportunity.
If you’re like I used to be, going into everything just wanting more—more cases, more money, more staff you’ll be miserable and won’t even know whether you got the right amount of “more.”
That said, my expectation is that you’ll enjoy this newsletter, incorporate a takeaway or two, and maybe share it with someone you like.