God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
This is the serenity prayer. I know it from having a family member go through a 12 step program and I think about it a lot.
If you don’t believe in God or a higher power, that’s totally fine, just drop the first word because honestly, if you want to take control of your life and stop being a victim, this is it in 25 words.
Is this something I can control?
No – great, accept it
Yes – great, make the change to see a change.
Will I ever be Iron Man? No…and I’m learning to be okay with that.
But can I run an ironman or at least be in better shape? Yes and I am working towards that.
In fact, there’s a comedian who has a bit about getting older is going from wanting to be a professional athlete, to wanting to be in shape, to wanting to not have his stomach jiggle when we brushes his teeth.
(To anyone reading this, please let me know if you know who I am talking about it because I cannot find it and want to give credit where it is due)
But what the heck does this have to do with running a law firm? We are getting there I swear!
What DOES This Have to Do with Running a Law Firm?
Because, at the end of the day you’re responsible for your law firm – both business wise and ethically.
You need to be aware of what you can and cannot control, you’re not Jean Grey or Professor X and you don’t have a DeLorean to go back in time and undo things until it goes the right way.
BUT, knowing what you can control will let you focus your efforts on changing the things you can instead of being stuck like Sisyphus pushing a rock up the hill in the morning only to have it fall back down at night.
The older I get the more I realize how much is in my control, so let’s look at 10 things we cannot control (but what we can do about them).
Things You Cannot Control
1) You cannot make your client take an offer
2) You cannot prevent your client from testifying on their behalf
Good place to start with our common ethics, but also:
3) You cannot MAKE your bar change your ethical rules – I’m in Florida, technically every ad is supposed to cost $150 just to the bar to review (there are exceptions and such, but still). This rule is stupid and a lot of people don’t follow it, but it exist and so I follow it. Even if I complain and lobby for it to be removed every change I get.
You can choose your clients. You can train your clients. You can prove to your clients that they should believe you…but you can’t control them. There is no Jedi mind trick for this and don’t look for one.
4) You cannot MAKE a phone ring – you can network with people, you can advertise, you can build a great reputation, you can send direct mail, you can buy leads that other people already have but you cannot MAKE the phone ring
5) You cannot prevent someone else from opening a firm or coming to compete with you – once Florida changed our PI laws and Morgan and Morgan started pushing hard up and down the east coast I cannot IMAGINE the change in advertising costs on PPC and such…but such is life. Not something you could have stopped (even if we could have/should have taken steps to mitigate that risk).
We aren’t Midas…not everything we touch will turn to gold. And in fact, I would argue that we want to be trying new things and learning from them (hello Chat GPT destroying google search #s and who the heck knows what happens with SEO moving forward as AI steps in to provide a better experience).
So maybe 3 should have been you cannot control the laws in your state – ethical or otherwise
6) You cannot control your employees 100% of the time.
Again, we aren’t Doctor Strange making everyone forget who Spiderman is (and potentially ruining the world).
BUT you can choose who you hire, you can create SOPs, you can work to onboard and train and implement them, you can be (or hire) great managers…BUT…you cannot control your employees.
7) You cannot control the OC’s actions or the Judge/Jury’s decision
Sure, we can work to make the best arguments and present the best facts and be likeable and otherwise try to win our cases…but sometimes the other side is an asshole (or sometimes I’m the asshole…) and you need to stop something in court or even worse…sometimes you just need a great appellate attorney in your corner.
8) You cannot control all of the facts of the case
Sometimes we have a great PI case but there is $0 in insurance. Sometimes your client is on video holding his ID card up to the camera while his grandma says it’s him (thank you Dave Chappelle). Sometimes you do everything you can, but it still becomes a loser of a case.
This is where I see a lot of lawyers taking it personally and taking it hard. Remember we are 2-3 times the national average for depression and 5 times for suicide.
The goal is to care enough to stay motivated, but not care so much that you let a case burn you emotionally. It’s a fine line, and hopefully if you struggle with this you have access to resources and mental health professionals.
9) You can’t MAKE your client into a referral source (or make your friends into clients) (or make your clients into friends) (or make your referral sources into friends)
Don’t expect everyone to do what you ask of them regardless of what you do for them. Just because you got someone $1,000,000 doesn’t mean they will leave a review or tell their friends. Just because you got someone probation instead of life in prison doesn’t mean they will pay their last bill or hire you for their next case. Just because you sent another lawyer 100 cases and paid for lunch the last few times doesn’t mean they will send you a case back, or be your friend.
Know what you are willing to put into every “relationship” and if you don’t get what you expect back, know when you let it go (as in stop trying with the person as much as getting over it).
Because….
10) You cannot control when your day comes – we all only get one life.
Sure we can eat healthier, get checked out by the doctor, take medications, avoid dangerous activities, etc but sometimes shit happens.
If you take nothing away from this newsletter (or anything else I say) stop putting off tomorrow to be happy. Take control today and start taking steps to live a life that you WANT to live and that you can be proud of.
Seriously, we often underestimate how much control we have over this.
If you hate working for a certain client – fire them.
If you hate dealing with a certain judge – don’t take cases that end up in front of them (or withdraw if it happens)
If you hate your current life – make changes to change it.
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
Whether that change is you reaching out to me about coaching, or quitting your current job and finding another, or just holding the door open for a stranger to bring you job by making their day…what are waiting for?
Still not sure how this work in practice? First, I think I do a good job sharing a lot of it when it comes to my life, BUT if that’s not enough next week I am going to talk about social media and show you EXACTLY what I have done in the past and how I made changes to try and get a better result with this.
Until then, have a great week!