You know the expression, we are what we eat?
Well, apparently I ate a fat guy.
But I am working on it. I am about one third of the way through 75 Hard and currently down ten pounds.
Because instead of being what we eat, I think we are what we do every day.
Last week I said it this way:
When did Michael Phelps become great? It was not when he won his 23rd gold medal. Not his 10th. Not his first. Not even when he first jumped into the pool for any of those races.
It was when he made the decision and took the small daily actions that turned him into the person who could win those medals.
So this week, let’s talk about habits.
How do we actually do the things every day that make us great?
How Habits Work
The Science Behind It
From a neurological perspective, new behaviors start in the prefrontal cortex. That is the part of your brain responsible for decision-making and focus.
As you repeat a behavior, it becomes more automatic and shifts toward the basal ganglia, the part of the brain responsible for habit formation and execution. This process is called automaticity.
In other words, your brain literally rewires itself to make repeated behaviors easier.
At first, new skills require intense focus. Think about your first day learning to drive.
For me, it was in my Temple’s parking lot. A guy pulled up next to us and asked me to roll down the window. I was convinced a former Mossad agent was about to arrest me for driving underage. It was the week before my driving test.
Now, driving is automatic.
That is the power of habit. It frees up mental energy so you can focus on higher-level thinking.
And no, do not text and drive. Nothing good will come from that.
Why This Matters for You
My goal is to help you make the important things consistent and second nature.
When habits become automatic, you conserve mental energy and can focus on growing your firm, serving clients, and building a better life.
If you want to go deeper on this topic, here are three books:
- The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
- Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg
- Atomic Habits by James Clear
If you only read one, I would vote for Atomic Habits. But I personally got more out of it after reading the other two first.
What Is a Habit?
A habit is a behavior repeated consistently, often without conscious thought.
Examples:
- Every morning I take a walk.
- Every time I get a lead, I send a thank you card.
- Every time I watch the Dolphins, I prepare for heartbreak.
Habits follow a predictable cycle:
- A cue or trigger
- A craving or desire
- The action
- A reward
Cue. Craving. Action. Reward.
And hello, dopamine.
5 Tips for Building Better Habits
1. Make It Easy
If you want a habit to stick, reduce friction.
When I wanted to eat more fruits and vegetables, I:
- Put fruit in a bowl on the table
- Precut vegetables and stored them ready to grab
- Hid junk food on the top shelf in opaque containers
Small changes. Big difference.
Start tiny.
Seven minutes. Six minutes. One minute.
If you want more referrals, set a daily reminder to call one referral source.
If you want a better marriage, schedule a weekly date night.
Make it easy to win.
2. Track It
You knew this was coming.
Track it.
Checkmarks on paper. A habit app. CRM reminders. Whatever works.
Progress is greater than perfection.
If you hit 100 percent every week, amazing.
If you do not, keep improving.
3. Stack Your Habits
Habit stacking means attaching a new habit to an existing one.
You already brush your teeth. Add flossing immediately after.
Finish a run. Do crunches.
Close a case. Ask for a review.
Finish a meal. Eat a carrot.
Use what you already do as a trigger for what you want to add.
4. Have a Buddy
Accountability changes everything.
Some people pay thousands per month for coaching just to have someone hold them accountable.
I meet with other lawyers weekly. We commit to actions and review results together.
Traction calls this the Level 10 Meeting.
4DX calls it the cadence of accountability.
The 12 Week Year calls it a weekly accountability meeting.
Whatever you call it, do it.
We are stronger together.
5. Have Patience
You will not nail this immediately.
Give yourself grace.
How long does it take to form a habit?
Some say 21 days.
Some say 66 days.
Others say it depends on the habit.
The truth is, it varies.
But small improvements compound over time.
If you are 40 years old, you likely have:
- 40 years
- 2,080 weeks
- 14,600 days
- Over 350,000 hours
Plenty of runway.
Focus on the journey, not just the destination.
Final Thoughts
We are not what we eat.
We are what we repeatedly do.
Build the right habits, and your life improves almost automatically.
Until next week, may you successfully launch your kids into adulthood without unexpectedly raising your grandkids all summer. Unless that brings you joy.