If you know me, you know I LOVE a good parable.
Whether it's the Go-Giver, the Five Dysfunctions of a Team, or just the story of the American businessman who tells the guy in the boat to start a business so he can work really hard to save money to retire to do what he is currently doing now... there's so much to be said about a great short story that conveys a message we can all learn from.
But my FAVORITE is about the teacher with the jar of rocks and sand.
If you've heard it before, you can skip it, but if not, here it is:
A teacher brings a jar, some large rocks, some smaller rocks, sand, and water to the classroom one day. He challenges the students to get everything into the jar, and they fail miserably (Advanced Theoretical Physics, this class is NOT).
So like any hero, the teacher swoops in to save the day. The teacher starts filling it with large rocks first. The students observe that the jar quickly becomes full, and the teacher then asks them if it is full. The students reply that it is. The teacher then brings out smaller rocks and begins to pour them into the jar. The smaller rocks fill the spaces between the larger rocks, and the jar becomes fuller. The teacher then asks the students if the jar is full again. The students reply that it is. The teacher then brings out a bucket of sand and begins to pour it into the jar. The sand fills the spaces between the smaller rocks, and the jar becomes completely full. The teacher then brings out a jug of water and begins to pour it into the jar. The water fills the spaces between the sand, and the jar becomes completely full.
The teacher then explains that the jar represents our lives. The large rocks represent our major goals. The small rocks represent our minor goals. The sand represents the small things in life. And the water represents the things we do every day. The story is to demonstrate that if we put the small things first, we will never achieve our major goals. So instead, we should put our major goals (large rocks) first, followed by our minor goals (small rocks), then the small things in life (sand), and lastly, the things we do every day (water).
Putting aside the students' inability to understand how things fit together (this was not the Tetris generation, I guess...) this story has SUCH a strong point.
The jar is our life, and most of us are CONSTANTLY putting the sand in first and wondering why the large rocks never fit.
Well, my friends, let's pour that jar out all over the floor and start over because today we are going to make it all fit in 5 steps!
Step 1) Find Your Why
I cannot stress how essential this is to the whole process. What is your WHY? Why do you do what you do? Or why do you do anything? Struggle with why questions, then let's flip it around.
Whatever question(s) you decide to answer needs to be a mix between your guiding light AND the motivation you need to keep at it when times get tough. (and let's be honest...you can always change it, but you need that guidance to know you're on the right track...think of it like a GPS for your life. It's the only way to know you're staying the course)
My why goes back to seeing more of my colleagues die by suicide, overdose, heart attack, or stroke in my first seven years as a lawyer than seeing the number who retired AND knowing the more lawyers I can help run better businesses and live better lives, the more their clients get the BEST service and results. This way, I get to grow my positive impact exponentially.
In a month where my $$$ #s are down - I go back to this thought for comfort.
In a month where my impressions are down - I go back to the people who reached out personally with a kind word or a question.
In a month where I am KILLING it - I still go back to this as proof that my why is shining through and resonating with the right people.
Step 2) Decide what is REALLY needed in your life
Okay...so maybe "you can have it all" means "you can have it all when you want less." But, I'd like to reframe that as "you can have it all when you focus on the TRULY important things."
I think this is easier as examples, so let me break it down for you in terms of what is REALLY important to me.
On the one hand, maybe that is everything. On the other hand...I'm not terribly concerned about spirituality, personal recognition, world hunger, politics, climate change, money, and the 1,000,000 other things that might be on YOUR list.
And guess what? That's totally okay, don't copy my list unless it's right for you, and don't be upset about whatever you put on YOUR list.
But you need to make a list (and I'd say 3-6 things tops for it...but if you've got more, let's see how it goes).
Step 3) Define SUCCESS
Now that I have my five things outlined, I need an "objective" standard to judge success for all of them.
I put an objective in quotes because if you have "be happier at work" on your list, that's probably always going to be subjective, but in that case, you might rate your happiness right before walking into work on a 1-10 scale, do it again at lunch, and then again before you leave and then average them. You could then compare the averages over time to get a sort of objective result.
If you're already where you want to be on any of these things - AWESOME!!!! If not, we need to get a goal for each of them.
The Four Disciplines of Execution suggest you break down these goals into the following:
X result by Y time
For me, it goes like this:
1) Not dying soon - Get back under 200 pounds by my 35th Birthday (5/5/23)
2) My family - Every Friday night, have quality time with my wife as either a date with just the two of us, a date with a couple(s), or just sitting on the couch (if we HAD a couch) and watching a movie by this Friday (we do this most Friday's but I want it to be all of them). (we do this most Friday's but I want it to be all of them). For my son, we have the amount of quality that I currently want. (that sounds bad...what I mean is we spend a LOT of time together)
3) My businesses/my employees - this could be its own newsletter, so let's just say X revenue by the end of the year (really, we use X cases/clients and X average case/client value between the law firm and the marketing company, but still)
4) Y'all (aka friends and colleagues) - another one that is pretty long;
there are the referral source connections I mentioned in this newsletter throughout this year,
there's our social media plan we execute on each month, and also have 50 favorites in my phone of people that I genuinely enjoy hanging out with by the end of the year (I think there are 35-40 currently...so I have some spots left if you're cool)
5) sleep - go to bed at 10ish every night ASAP. I usually sleep from 10-10:20 until 6:15-6:45 or so, and then I wear a Fitbit to track it and track my REM cycles, amount of sleep, etc.
Step 4) Create a Consistent Schedule
THIS is where we are getting the large rocks into the jar.
We have our whys, we have what's important, and we defined success, so let's make it happen. I tell everyone I can that you need to live off your calendar.
It's not as awful as it sounds. On the contrary, it's got the two best benefits.
1) if you follow your calendar, putting things on there is almost as good as doing them, and
2) you schedule all the time off you want and make sure it's not ruined because you (and your staff) follow your calendar.
Here's my weekly schedule
Monday
7am - alarm, morning routine, breakfast
7:45 - run
8:30 - shower/change/head to the office
9am - Maximum Lawyer Guild Meeting
9:15 - update scorecards and write thank you cards
9:30 - Jordan Law EOS Level 10 Meeting
10:30 - LegalEase All Team Meeting
12 - Networking Lunch
1:30-on - consults, exhibit a, meetings, scheduled work, catching up with people, writing this newsletter (I leave when I am done, 5:30 maximum)
5:30 - cook dinner, family time
6ish (if I haven't done my second workout for 75hard, I do it now...ideally as a family walk)
8ish - bedtime routine with 4-year-old
8:30ish - hang out with my wife, catch up on tv
10ish - asleep
Tuesday
8:45 - take my child to school
9:15 - warm up, lift weights, cool down
Free most of the day - usually, I do my errands/doctor appointments/etc. today
3 - pick up son from school
5:30 - cook dinner, family time
6ish (if I haven't done my second workout for 75hard, I do it now...ideally as a family walk)
8ish - bedtime routine with 4-year-old
8:30ish - hang out with my wife, catch up on tv
10ish - asleep
Wednesday
8:45 - take my child to school
Free most of the day - I either run or play disc golf today, and then I usually practice a skill (Rubik's cube, lock picking, piano, Spanish, etc.)
3 - pick up son from school
5:30 - cook dinner, family time
6ish (if I haven't done my second workout for 75hard, I do it now...ideally as a family walk)
8ish - bedtime routine with 4-year-old
8:30ish - hang out with my wife, catch up on tv
10ish - asleep
Every other week or so on Tuesday or Wednesday, I will get my son up early so we can go to something fun at noon, either Universal, Seaworld, Science Center, Zoo etc.
Thursday
8:45 - child to school
9 - warm-up, lift weights, cool down
10 - newsletter review
10:30 - social media meeting
noon - networking lunch
1:30 - consults, exhibit a, meetings, scheduled work, catching up with people, marketing meeting (every other Thursday)
3 - Topgolf for networking
5ish - happy hour/dinner with people
7ish (if I haven't done my second workout for 75hard, I do it now...ideally as a family walk)
8:30ish - hang out with my wife, catch up on tv
10ish - asleep
Friday
8:45 - child to school
9 - run/walk/jog
Morning - any deep work I didn't get to or any scheduled work (usually every other Friday on filming days or when Monday is a holiday)
12 - networking lunch (usually every OTHER Friday on filming days or when Monday is a holiday)
Afternoon - review the previous week. What can I work on doing better? Look at the next week.
3 - content filming (every other Friday)
I only take meetings on Friday if Monday is a holiday (like this week)
6ish - date night with wife
If you care enough about my weekend plans, I can share those too, but you get the idea.
The walking/running/jogging/lifting/disc golf helps me lose weight.
There's a TON of time with my son (and wife).
The meetings, scheduled work, and other open times are for my employees, friends, referral sources, and colleagues.
And then I get it all done in time to sleep.
I know I don't do legal work, so I don't have court obligations to work around. If that's the case, you cannot prioritize these things NOW... Set a time every Friday afternoon to set your schedule for the following two weeks.
That way, you at least prioritize the time to prioritize the time.
You might pick which days to do longer runs a week in advance, or move your day off around depending on other requirements, etc.
Step 5) HAVE FUN WITH IT!!!!
WHEN you hit those goals - do something to celebrate. For example, my wife wants us to do a photo shoot when we hit our weight goals.
My firm is going on a cruise when we hit our $$$ goals.
My body thanks me every day for not being exhausted and tired at 2 pm when I hit my sleep and exercise goals.
Find some things to look forward to when you accomplish this batch of goals.
And then be critical about it:
Review these questions monthly, AT LEAST quarterly, and at every deadline you set and made or didn't.
And there you go!!! The future is yours for the taking! And I will leave you with a paraphrased quote from the 12 Week Year that has stayed with me.
When did Michael Phelps become great? It wasn't when he won his 23rd gold medal, not his 10th, his 1st, nor when he first jumped into the water for any of those races. Instead, it was when he made the decision and took the small actions that made him the person who won those medals.
Be that person today who everyone will one day think is great.
Next week we are talking about habits! One of my favorite topics is how to make things easier (or harder) for you.
Until then, have a wonderful week. May they not make a documentary about you and how you stole billions of dollars from people a la Madoff (which let's be honest...what an on point last name after he MADE OFF with all the money).
Until Next Friday,
Jordan Ostroff
Okay, so this all sounds good, but you’re wondering how to start making these changes. The first important step was visiting this web page, so congrats! You’re already on the right track. The next crucial step is booking a consulting appointment with me so we can come up with a plan and replicate the results of so many others before you.
You can book an appointment here. See you soon!
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